Observations: Sides of Tables
I woke up, having had a good night’s rest (a rarity for me of late) to the sun peering through the blinds. My first thought was of the enjoyable evening I’d had with my date the night before. I figured, “Oh hey! I’ll send him a ‘Good morning!’ text!”
I sent it, he responded with some pleasantries, and then a few words that conveyed a much larger meaning than they might otherwise deliver outside of this context: “I’ve been thinking… could I give you a call?”
I knew.
I immediately knew what that meant.
I went into this latest foray, into the haphazard emotionally-precarious realm that is dating, with a person who I knew had too recently ended a relationship to be dating me in any serious way. I knew.
I invited him to call, he called, told me what I already knew, and, because I’m incapable of lengthy conversation upon waking up in the morning, let him know in as polite a way I could that I understood where he was coming from and he could let me know if he ends up feeling differently.
For a couple days after, I was internally depressed and a smidge dramatic about it. I moped for a couple days. It felt over so suddenly. I felt like I’d been picked up and dropped. I wondered if it was really just that I wasn’t good enough. I wondered if he’d just given up too quickly because it got a little difficult. I felt a little hurt.
This is all a very brief glimpse into my dating history. But, as you can see, there were still plenty of real emotions involved.
Fast-forward several days to now, when I had the observation that will allow us to get to the point.
I was strolling homeward after meeting up with some friends, and there he was, sitting to the side of a little coffee shop table. A gentleman whom I had once, perhaps, made feel as though he had been picked up and dropped.
Maybe a year or so ago, the tables were turned, and I was the one causing emotions, maybe causing moping, and probably causing hurt.
Here’s the point: empathy.
Yeah, I’m always writing about empathy. I just think it’s so damn important for us all to remember.
I had good reasons behind my decision to end things with this man, whom I saw today for the first time in a very long time. A week ago, someone made me feel quite hurt, and had good reasons behind his decision to end things with me.
Are the experiences I’m drawing this lesson from super-duper important for you all to know about, or for me to dwell on? No. But, I never want to forget the importance of remembering that we all go through so much pain, so much turmoil, and, for some of us, so much dating. Look at others around you with the remembrance that they, like you, are human. They have probably felt that they found someone perfect who just wasn’t, they have felt picked up and dropped, they have cried, and, at some point, they’ve sat on your side of the little coffee shop table.