Permission to Play
by JILL COLBY
Sex is the most important form of humanity, but it goes beyond procreation. Sex should be fun, comfortable, and mutually consensual. You can be whoever or whatever you want. Sex is the time to be a queen, a mystic, a maiden, a hero, a criminal -- anything you desire. Let go and imagine, fantasize, laugh, cry, tease. Complete mental nakedness is one of the most exciting forms of “nakedness” - so much so that being your most authentic self is more frightening than being physically naked with someone.
Peeling back the layers of your mental shell is one of the hardest lessons to learn with sex. Authentic, playful, and incredible sex comes with practice and trust between you and your parnter. So in the context of sex, revisit your youthful desire to play, get wild and have fun.
Ice & Fire
Olivia Newton John had it right when she wrote the lyrics to the classic song Let’s Get Physical, “ I'm sayin' all the things that I know you'll like, makin' good conversation. I gotta handle you just right, you know what I mean. I took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie. There's nothing left to talk about. 'less it's horizontal. Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical. Let's get into physics. Let me hear your body talk, your body talk. Let me hear your body talk.”
So what are some fun ways getting horizontal can be switched up? Why not try a little fire and ice? You can use regular ice cubes or flavored ice cubes for skin dazzling sensations. The purpose is shocking the skin for increased adrenaline rushes. You can run the ice cube slowly over the lips, on the soles of the feet, on the lower back, or behind the ears. Whatever feels good for the both of you!
Fire should be used with more caution. You can purchase a massage candle that is safe to use on the skin. Massage candles are made special so that they don’t get too hot, and won’t irritate your skin. Of course, you should blow the candle out and always test the oil out on your finger before massaging the oil into the back, arms, or legs. Massage oil is not meant for the genitals or mouth. Both ice and fire are very stimulating to the skin and can be a lot of fun to alternate between.
Body Paint
One of the most ancient forms of sexual creativity. Edible body paints are made so that you can paint on each other’s skin with your fingers and remove tastefully with your tongue. Delicious! Get creative on your canvas of skin. Use different colors, brushes, and flavors. While painting, take your time and admire the beautiful body you are painting. While being painted, relax, and enjoy being the center of attention. When your works of art are complete, stand in the mirror and admire your creation and take it from there.
Masks
Masks are also one of the oldest tools for sexual creativity and mystical inspiration. You become someone other than yourself. Some masks are made for sensory deprivation as well as roleplaying. Wearing masks may make it easier for some to experiment and explore. Etsy has a variety of Masquerade Masks that can take play time to a whole new level.
We can develop our sexual potential until the day that we die. Humans are programmed to lust and love until the day they die. We are so much more than just genes and impulses, we can commit, feel, love, and play. Try some of these techniques out. Give yourself a few practice sessions and keep allowing yourself to learn and grow each time. Let each other be gangsters, virgins, slaves, or whatever turns you on as long as it is not hurting another unconsenting human being. Give yourself permission to play!